The Inner Crab

Nature's Liver

The scene opens on a herd of elephants grazing in the Serengeti. The percussion section starts out with an Indian cadence, and the woodwind enters with a spirited blast, seeming to imply, "What does the percussian section mean, Asian or American Indian?"

As the elephants are grazing and playing frisbee, a cargo plane flies overhead and drops whales on the elephants, who are flattened instantly except for one which catches a whale on its tusks and runs offstage in search of a barbecue pit. Before the scene closes, a flock of geese dance on to symbolically call the audience's attention to the surviving elephant, which had borne an uncanny resemblance to Allen Funt.

Scene two opens on a team of insurance men going over the area where the elephants and whales had met. When they end their investigation, they break into a frenetic dance as if to say "The damages are minimal and we can make it up in increased premiums."

After a short intermission, the curtains rise on three men sitting in a park eating bagels with lox. The man seated in the middle suddenly feels a oneness with the dead elephants and jams three bagels down the throat of the man seated on his left, killing him instantly. The man on his right dances across the park, seeming to say, "Why did you do that? One of those bagels was mine!" The man in the middle takes to the stage, as if to reply, "I killed him because he had sold me stock in whales just the other day; now I am ruined." He then consumes the tablecloth as the curtain falls.

After a 45-minute intermission during which the dancer's stomach is pumped to recover the tablecloth, the curtain rises briefly so that a chorus of dancers and Inuit interpreters can explain to the audience that the tortured yet brilliant man in the middle from the park scene was able to achieve oneness with the elephants because they were enrolled in the same book club. The dancers then cover the interpreters with marmalade, ending the performance.

Site Contents © 2004 Robert M. Rowan